Score a Laugh with Hilarious Soccer Jokes For Kids!
Looking for a way to add some fun to soccer practice, game day, or just a regular afternoon? Look no further! This collection of soccer jokes for kids is guaranteed to get your little kickers giggling.
From silly puns to corny knock-knocks, we’ve got a whole lineup of humor that’s perfect for young soccer fans. Get ready to score big with these knee-slappers!
And the whole team can enjoy them because they’re clean and suitable for kids of all ages.
Best soccer jokes for kids
Let’s begin with some of our favorite soccer jokes for kids.
1. Why do soccer players do so well in school?
They know how to use their heads.
2. What position do ghosts play in soccer?
Ghoulie.
3. How do we know that soccer referees are happy?
They whistle while they work.
4. Which famous soccer player always leaves his stuff laying around on the floor?
Messi.
5. Why is it always warmer after a soccer game?
All the fans have left.
6. Why was the soccer field wet on a sunny day?
The players dribbled all over it.
7. What’s the best state to shop for a soccer uniform?
New Jersey.
Silly soccer jokes for kids
These jokes are just plain goofy and guaranteed to bring on the giggles.
8. Why did the soccer ball quit the team?
It was tired of being kicked around.
9. What do you call a lazy kangaroo playing soccer?
Pouch potato.
10. Why don’t grasshoppers watch soccer?
They watch cricket instead.
11. What do soccer referees send during the holidays?
Yellow cards.
12. What soccer player keeps the field clean?
The sweeper.
13. Why are soccer players so artistic?
Because every game ends in a draw.
14. Why did the defensive soccer player cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
15. Why wasn’t the nose on the soccer team?
It didn’t get picked.
16. Why did someone invent soccer?
They got a kick out of it.
17. What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?
Cooooaaaallll!
Soccer puns
Get ready for some pun-tastic soccer humor!
18. What do you call it when a dinosaur scores a goal?
A dino-score.
19. Why did the soccer player use his hands?
He was tired of de-feat.
20. Why don’t you play soccer in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
21. What’s it called when soccer players don’t wear their cleats?
Sock-er.
22. How do birds cheer for their soccer team?
They egg them on.
23. What kind of tea do soccer players drink?
Penal-tea.
24. Where do soccer players dance?
At the futball.
25. What part of a soccer pitch smells nicest?
The scent-er spot.
26. Why was the chicken ejected from the game?
Fowl play.
Soccer riddles
Test your kids’ knowledge of the beautiful game with these tricky riddles.
27. How do you light up a soccer stadium?
With a soccer match.
28. What has a net but catches no fish?
A soccer goal.
29. What’s harder to catch the faster you run?
Your breath.
30. What time is it when an elephant steps on your soccer ball?
Time to get a new ball.
31. What runs around the soccer field but never moves?
A fence.
32. Which soccer player has the biggest cleats?
The one with the biggest feet.
33. I have a big mouth but never speak. I’m often the target of a kick. What am I?
A soccer goal.
34. You are locked inside a car with nothing but a soccer ball. How do you get out?
Unlock the door and pull the handle.
Corny soccer jokes for kids
These jokes are so corny, they’re good!
35. Why don’t soccer players wear glasses?
It’s a contact sport.
36. Why are soccer players so good at sharing?
They always pass the ball.
37. What is it called when electric eels play soccer?
A shocker.
38. Did you know soccer is the only sport that’s not a game of inches?
It’s a game of feet!
39. Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?
She always runs away from the ball.
40. Why was the skeleton always left out in a soccer game?
Because he had no body to play with.
41. Why are scrambled eggs like a losing soccer team?
Because they’ve both been beaten.
42. How do soccer players stay cool?
They stay near the fans.
43. Why did the soccer player carry a string?
So she could tie the score.
44. Why is it no fun to play soccer with pigs?
They always hog the ball.
Soccer knock knock jokes
Who’s there? Hilarious soccer jokes, that’s who!
45. Knock, knock – Who’s there?
Les – Les who?
Les go and play soccer!
46. Knock, knock – Who’s there?
Uriah – Uriah who?
Keep Uriah on the ball.
47. Knock, knock – Who’s there?
Wanda – Wanda who?
Wanda buy a new soccer ball?
48. Knock knock Who’s there?
Soccer – Soccer who?
Socc-ser in the drawer!
49. Knock, knock – Who’s there?
August – August who?
Augusta go back to soccer practice!
Be sure to share these funny soccer jokes with players, teammates, coaches, or just anyone who loves this beautiful game. Remember, a good laugh is the best way to celebrate any victory, big or small!
Check out more great jokes for kids:
By Greg Johnson | Published 1/29/25
