Cow Jokes For Kids
You don’t have to live on a farm to appreciate these funny cow jokes for kids.
Children of all ages (from kindergarten to middle schoolers to teens) will love this silly humor about the beloved cow.
So share these jokes and prepare for an udderly good time!
1. Best cow jokes for kids
What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?
A Milk Dud.
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
What happens when you talk to a cow?
It goes in one ear and out the udder.
What do you call a cow that can’t give milk?
An udder failure.
What do you call a cow who just gave birth?
De-calf-inated.
Why do cows tell each other jokes?
To keep themselves a-moo-sed.
Why was it hard to brush the heifer’s hair?
She had a cow lick.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?
A cockerpoodlemoo.
What do you call a cow who was just knighted?
Sir Loin.
What did the mother cow say to her calf?
It’s pasture bedtime.
2. Funny cow jokes
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
Because the farmer’s hands were cold.
What do you call cattle that tell jokes?
Laughing stock.
How do you count cows?
With a cow-culator.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bull dozer.
What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull?
A steak out.
Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
What do you get when you cross an angry sheep with a grumpy cow?
An animal that’s in a baaaaaaaad moooooood.
What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence?
An udder catastrophe.
What do cows get sick with?
Hay fever.
What happened to the lost cattle?
Nobody’s herd.
3. Silly cow jokes for kids
What would you get if you crossed a cow with a rabbit?
Hare in your milk.
What time is it when a cow sits on your hat?
Time to get a new hat.
How do you make Swiss cheese?
Use milk from a holy cow.
What did the calf say to the silo?
Is my fodder in there?
Why was the cow afraid to leave the barn?
Because he’s a cow-ard.
Did you hear about the snobby cow?
She thought she was a cutlet above the rest.
What sound do you hear when a cow breaks the sound barrier?
Cowboom.
What is the most important use for cowhide?
To hold the cow together.
Why was the cow so proud?
Because she was outstanding in her field.
What did the cow say at the end of the workday?
An udder day, an udder dollar.
4. Corny cow jokes
What do you get when a cow jumps on a trampoline?
A milkshake.
What is a cow’s favorite deli meat?
Bull-ogna.
What is the golden rule for cows?
Do unto udders as you would want udders to do to unto you.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a Smurf?
Blue cheese.
Where do baby cows eat lunch?
The calf-eteria.
Why was the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows had horns.
What do you call a cow in your backyard?
A lawn mower.
What has four legs and says, “Oom, Oom?”
A cow walking backwards.
What do you call a scared cow?
A cow-ard.
5. Funny cow riddles
What is as big as a cow but weighs nothing?
His shadow.
What gives milk and has a horn?
A milk truck.
If you had twenty cows and ten goats what would you have?
A lot of milk.
What two members of the cow family go with you everywhere you go?
Your calves.
6. Cow puns for kids
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did the cow cross the playground?
To get to the udder slide.
Why did the cow cross the ocean?
To get to the udder tide.
Where do cows go to get their medicine?
The farm-acy.
Where do cows like to ride on trains?
The cow-boose.
Why did the cow go to the spa?
She really needed some re-hoove-ination.
Where did the bull lose all his money?
At the cow-sino.
How did the farmer find his lost cow?
He tractor down.
What do you call a cow that blends in with its surroundings?
Cow-moo-flauged.
7. Cow knock knock jokes
Knock knock. – Who’s There?
Cow go. – Cows go who?
No, silly cows go moo.
Knock knock. – Who’s there?
Cow. – Cow who?
Cow-a-bunga dude.
Knock knock. – Who’s there?
Moo. – Moo who?
Make up your mind: Are you a cow or an owl?
Knock knock. – Who’s there?
A cow with no lips. – A cow with no lips who?
A cow with no lips said ooo ooo.
8. Moo jokes
Why are cows just awesome dancers?
They’ve got all the right moo-ves.
What do you call a magic cow?
Moo-dini.
What do you call a cow who can part water?
Moo-ses.
What do you call a grass-fed cow?
A lawn moo-er.
What game do cows like to play at parties?
Moosical chairs.
What is a cow’s favorite newspaper?
The Daily Moos.
What is a cow’s favorite type of play?
A moo-sical.
What do cows like to do for entertainment?
Go to the mooovies.
What did one chess playing cow say to the other?
Your mooooove.
Why did the cow look so confused?
He was having deja-moo.
What do you call a cow that plays the guitar?
A moosician.
What do cows read in the morning?
The moos-paper.
Where will you find the most cows?
Moo York.
What are grumpy cows called?
Moo-dy.
9. Milk jokes
How do you make a milk shake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What did one dairy cow say to the other?
Got milk?
What do you get from an invisible cow?
Evaporated milk.
Where do Russians get milk?
From Mos-cows.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
Milk and quackers.
Where do milk shakes come from?
Nervous cows.
What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?
Milk of Amnesia.
Why don’t cows ever have money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
What happens when a cow laughs?
Milk comes out of her nose.
What do you get from a brown cow?
Chocolate milk.
10. Beef jokes
What do you call a cow that’s standing on the barn floor?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with a nervous twitch?
Beef Jerky.
What do you call a cow with no front legs?
Lean beef.
What’s a cow’s favorite musical note?
Beef flat.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow?
Roost beef.
What do weightlifting cows eat for dessert?
Beefcake.
Thanks for reading these funny cow jokes for kids. Be sure to check out these other children’s jokes:
By Greg Johnson | Published 9/13/2022
