Funny Inspirational Quotes For A Laugh
It can be difficult to motivate yourself sometimes, but these funny inspirational quotes will get you up on your feet and accomplishing your goals.
Here is a fun collection of the most inspirational, motivational, awesome and funny quotes and sayings to get you started.
Best funny inspirational quotes
The best funny inspirational quotes to help you get through life’s ups and downs.
1.) We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
Oscar Wilde
2.) I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
Thomas A. Edison
3.) It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.
Lewis Carroll
4.) Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?
L.M. Montgomery
5.) People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
6.) If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?
Rumi
7.) We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special.
Stephen Hawking
8.) Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.
Voltaire
9.) Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
Will Rogers
10.) The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.
Bette Midler
11.) If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.
Dalai Lama
Witty inspirational sayings
1.) Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
Oscar Wilde
2.) A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.
Mark Twain
3.) Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Napoleon Bonaparte
4.) The best computer is a man, and it’s the only one that can be mass-produced by unskilled labour.
Wernher von Braun
5.) Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
Will Rogers
Short quotes
6.) Be happy, it drives people crazy.
Paulo Coelho
7.) Aspire to inspire before we expire.
Eugene Bell Jr.
8.) Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.
Truman Capote
9.) Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.
Tina Fey
10.) Bad decisions make good stories.
Ellis Vidler
11.) Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.
Terry Pratchett
12.) Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment.
Dilbert
13.) A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.
Unknown
Funny inspirational quotes about life and happiness
1.) You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?
Steven Wright
2.) Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
George Carlin
3.) Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
Mark Twain
4.) Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
George Burns
5.) The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
Andy Rooney
6.) The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
Terry Pratchett
7.) Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.
Mark Twain
Check out these songs with laughter in them.
About life and struggles
8.) When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’
Albert Einstein
9.) I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.
Will Rogers
10.) What’s right is what’s left if you do everything else wrong.
Robin Williams
11.) If no-one comes from the future to stop doing it, then how bad of a decision can it really be?
Will Ferrell
12.) Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget tossing in the lifeboats.
Voltaire
13.) Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
Rita Mae Brown
14.) Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
Tom Lehrer
15.) Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.
Charles Schulz
16.) Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.
Charlie Brooker
About love
17.) Always follow your heart — unless your heart is bad with directions.
SpongeBob SquarePants
Funny inspirational quotes for women
18.) Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
Marilyn Monroe
19.) Well-behaved women seldom make history.
Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
20.) Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
George Burns
21.) Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.
Dick Van Dyke
About aging
22.) Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
Phyllis Diller
23.) I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me — they’re cramming for their final exam.
George Carlin
24.) A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright.
Lucille Ball
25.) The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you’ll grow out of it.
Doris Day
Inspirational quotes about your health
Diet, exercise, and workouts
1.) I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
Minions
2.) I’m in shape. Round is a shape.
George Carlin
3.) Exercise? I thought you said ‘Extra Fries’.
Minions
4.) Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.
Erma Bombeck
Mental health
5.) You’re only given one little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.
Robin Williams
6.) If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck.
Elvis Presley
7.) People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
Will Rogers
Funny motivational quotes
1.) Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain
2.) Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.
Bill Murray
3.) People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.
Zig Ziglar
4.) I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin
5.) When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
Cathy Guisewite
6.) Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.
Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
7.) You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.
Sam Levenson
Encouraging quotes
8.) You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
Jack London
9.) Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
Thomas Edison
10.) If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.
Woody Allen
11.) It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by then I was too famous.
Robert Benchley
Positive vibes
12.) Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.
Isaac Asimov
13.) When you do not know what you are doing and what you are doing is the best — that is inspiration.
Robert Bresson
14.) A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.
Frank Zappa
15.) My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
Dave Barry
About success
16.) Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.
Sydney Harris
17.) To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.
Reba McEntire
18.) If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.
Quentin Crisp
19.) Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.
Earl Wilson
20.) The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
Franklin P. Jones
21.) You never become a howling success by just howling.
Bob Harrington
22.) All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
Mark Twain
23.) Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.
T.S. Eliot
24.) Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Savielly Tartakower
25.) Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.
Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
Funny inspirational quotes to keep going
26.) A peacock that rests on his tail feathers is just another turkey.
Dolly Parton
27.) To be is to do – Socrates. To do is to be – Jean-Paul Sartre. Do be do be do – Frank Sinatra.
Kurt Vonnegut
28.) If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.
Doris Day
29.) Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished — If you’re alive it isn’t.
Richard Bach
For Mondays
30.) It’s Monday… wishing you strength through this difficult time.
Minions
For the new year
31.) New Year’s resolutions work like this: you think of something you enjoy doing and then resolve to stop doing it.
Audrey Hepburn
Funny inspirational quotes for business
1.) By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.
Robert Frost
2.) I cannot afford to waste my time making money.
Louis Agassiz
3.) What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Phyllis Diller
4.) Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.
Charles J. Sykes
5.) There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?
Kin Hubbard
6.) Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
Drew Carey
7.) Beware of any enterprise requiring new clothes.
Henry Thoreau
8.) The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.
Joe Girard
At work and the office
9.) The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
Robert Frost
10.) Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it.
Andrew Young
11.) Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.
Doug Larson
12.) Some people see things that are and ask, ‘Why?’ Some people dream of things that never were and ask, ‘Why not?’ Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.
George Carlin
13.) One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.
Bertrand Russell
14.) The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.
Oscar Wilde
15.) All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.
Aristotle
About teamwork
16.) I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.
Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
17.) I’m not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues.
Franklin D. Roosevelt
About leadership
18.) The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind.
Joseph Stilwell
19.) There’s an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job.
Peter Drucker
20.) I will always choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.
Bill Gates
21.) Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
Lewis Grizzard
22.) I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.
Abraham Maslow
23.) Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.
Kyle Chandler
Funny inspirational quotes for school
1.) Don’t let schooling interfere with your education.
Mark Twain
2.) Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.
Dr. Seuss
About graduation
3.) Some are born great, some achieve greatness, some get it as a graduation gift.
Robin Williams
4.) You have brains in your head, you have feet in your shoes, you can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And you are the one who’ll decide where to go.
Dr. Seuss
5.) You’re off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting, So… get on your way!
Dr. Seuss
More graduation advice quotes and sayings.
For students
6.) Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.
Dr. Seuss
7.) Don’t give up. I believe in you all. A person’s a person. No matter how small.
Dr. Seuss, “Horton Hears a Who!”
Famous funny inspirational quotes
1.) Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock.
Pablo Picasso
2.) It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
Muhammad Ali
By comedians
3.) There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.
David Letterman
4.) Aren’t we all striving to be overpaid for what we do?
Will Ferrell
5.) Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
6.) You cannot soar with the eagles as long as you hang out with the turkeys.
George Carlin
7.) A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Steve Martin
From books and authors
8.) Always laugh when you can, it is cheap medicine.
Lord Byron
9.) I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
Oscar Wilde
10.) Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Jack London
11.) It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
From TV shows and movies
12.) My mom said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.
Minions
13.) Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.
Michael Scott, The Office
14.) Life is just like that sometimes. We’re hoping for a unicorn, and we get a goat.
Despicable Me 3
15.) The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?
Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean
16.) A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
Willy Wonka
17.) I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms.
Michael Scott, The Office
18.) If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
Patches O’Houlihan, Dodgeball
19.) Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.
Michael Scott, The Office
How to use funny inspirational quotes
There are many ways to use these funny inspirational quotes and sayings. Here are some ideas to get you started:
- Send a message to cheer someone up.
- Share with friends on holidays, birthdays, or any occasion.
- Give nurses and healthcare workers a reason to smile.
- Send new parents an uplifting message.
- Students and teachers will find these sayings perfect for the yearbook.
- Use as a sign-off email signature.
- At work, share with your boss or use in business meetings and speeches.
- Use as motivation to start the day.
- Include a quote in Christmas / holiday cards and birthday cards.
- Inspire your resolutions for the new year.
We hope you enjoyed reading these funny inspirational quotes and sayings. Here are more quotes you’re sure to like:
By Greg Johnson | Published 2/6/2023
