Funny Inspirational Quotes For A Laugh
It can be difficult to motivate yourself sometimes, but these funny inspirational quotes will get you up on your feet and accomplishing your goals.
Here is a fun collection of the most inspirational, motivational, awesome and funny quotes and sayings to get you started.
Best funny inspirational quotes
The best funny inspirational quotes to help you get through life’s ups and downs.
1.) We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
2.) I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
Thomas A. Edison
3.) It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.
4.) Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?
5.) People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
6.) If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?
7.) We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special.
8.) Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.
9.) Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
10.) The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.
11.) If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.
Witty inspirational sayings
1.) Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
2.) A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.
3.) The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
4.) Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
5.) The best computer is a man, and it’s the only one that can be mass-produced by unskilled labour.
Wernher von Braun
6.) Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
7.) Be happy, it drives people crazy.
8.) Aspire to inspire before we expire.
Eugene Bell Jr.
9.) Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.
10.) Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.
11.) Bad decisions make good stories.
12.) Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.
13.) Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment.
14.) A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.
Funny inspirational quotes about life and happiness
1.) You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?
2.) Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
3.) Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
4.) Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
5.) The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
6.) The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
7.) Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.
About life and struggles
8.) When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’
9.) I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.
10.) What’s right is what’s left if you do everything else wrong.
11.) If no-one comes from the future to stop doing it, then how bad of a decision can it really be?
12.) Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget tossing in the lifeboats.
13.) Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
Rita Mae Brown
14.) Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
15.) Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.
16.) Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.
17.) Always follow your heart — unless your heart is bad with directions.
Funny inspirational quotes for women
18.) Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
19.) Well-behaved women seldom make history.
Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
20.) Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
21.) Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.
Dick Van Dyke
22.) Don’t worry about getting older. You still get to do stupid things, only slower.
23.) Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
24.) I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me — they’re cramming for their final exam.
25.) A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright.
26.) The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you’ll grow out of it.
Inspirational quotes about your health
Diet, exercise, and workouts
1.) I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
2.) I’m in shape. Round is a shape.
3.) Exercise? I thought you said ‘Extra Fries’.
4.) Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.
5.) You’re only given one little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.
6.) If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck.
7.) People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
Funny motivational quotes
1.) Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
2.) Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.
3.) People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.
4.) I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
5.) When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
6.) Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.
Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
7.) You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.
8.) You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
9.) Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
10.) If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.
11.) It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by then I was too famous.
12.) Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.
13.) When you do not know what you are doing and what you are doing is the best — that is inspiration.
14.) A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.
15.) My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
16.) Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.
17.) To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.
18.) If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.
19.) Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.
20.) The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
Franklin P. Jones
21.) You never become a howling success by just howling.
22.) All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
23.) Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.
24.) Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
25.) Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.
Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
Funny inspirational quotes to keep going
26.) A peacock that rests on his tail feathers is just another turkey.
27.) To be is to do – Socrates. To do is to be – Jean-Paul Sartre. Do be do be do – Frank Sinatra.
28.) If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.
29.) Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished — If you’re alive it isn’t.
30.) It’s Monday… wishing you strength through this difficult time.
For the new year
31.) New Year’s resolutions work like this: you think of something you enjoy doing and then resolve to stop doing it.
Funny inspirational quotes for business
1.) By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.
2.) I cannot afford to waste my time making money.
3.) What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
4.) Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.
Charles J. Sykes
5.) There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?
6.) Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
7.) Beware of any enterprise requiring new clothes.
8.) The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.
At work and the office
9.) The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
10.) Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it.
11.) Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.
12.) Some people see things that are and ask, ‘Why?’ Some people dream of things that never were and ask, ‘Why not?’ Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.
13.) One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.
14.) The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.
15.) All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.
16.) I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.
Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
17.) I’m not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues.
Franklin D. Roosevelt
18.) The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind.
19.) There’s an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job.
20.) I will always choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.
21.) Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
22.) I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.
23.) Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.
Funny inspirational quotes for school
1.) Don’t let schooling interfere with your education.
2.) Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.
3.) Some are born great, some achieve greatness, some get it as a graduation gift.
4.) You have brains in your head, you have feet in your shoes, you can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And you are the one who’ll decide where to go.
5.) You’re off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting, So… get on your way!
More graduation advice quotes and sayings.
6.) Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.
7.) Don’t give up. I believe in you all. A person’s a person. No matter how small.
Dr. Seuss, “Horton Hears a Who!”
Famous funny inspirational quotes
1.) Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock.
2.) It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
3.) There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.
4.) Aren’t we all striving to be overpaid for what we do?
5.) Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
6.) You cannot soar with the eagles as long as you hang out with the turkeys.
7.) A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
From books and authors
8.) Always laugh when you can, it is cheap medicine.
9.) I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
10.) Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
11.) It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
From TV shows and movies
12.) My mom said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.
13.) Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.
Michael Scott, The Office
14.) Life is just like that sometimes. We’re hoping for a unicorn, and we get a goat.
Despicable Me 3
15.) The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?
Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean
16.) A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
17.) I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms.
Michael Scott, The Office
18.) If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
Patches O’Houlihan, Dodgeball
19.) Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.
Michael Scott, The Office
How to use funny inspirational quotes
There are many ways to use these funny inspirational quotes and sayings. Here are some ideas to get you started:
- Send a message to cheer someone up.
- Share with friends on holidays, birthdays, or any occasion.
- Give nurses and healthcare workers a reason to smile.
- Send new parents an uplifting message.
- Students and teachers will find these sayings perfect for the yearbook.
- Use as a sign-off email signature.
- At work, share with your boss or use in business meetings and speeches.
- Use as motivation to start the day.
- Include a quote in Christmas / holiday cards and birthday cards.
- Inspire your resolutions for the new year.
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