Halloween Jokes For Kids
Halloween is a time to play tricks, dress up in scary costumes, and trick or treat with friends and family. Add to the fun with these Halloween jokes, puns, and riddles!
The funniest Halloween jokes for kids
These funny jokes are kid friendly and great for Halloween parties, classrooms, and sharing with trick-or-treaters!
1. Funny Halloween jokes
What did the pirate wear on Halloween?
A pumpkin patch.
What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.
What is a witch’s favorite breed of dog?
A Yorkshire Scarier.
Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the pumpkin patch?
It was in a seedy part of town.
How do you fix a broken jack o’lantern?
With a pumpkin patch.
Knock, knock.
(Reply): Who’s there?
Boo.
(Reply): Boo who?
Aw, don’t cry, it’s Halloween!
How are false teeth like stars?
They come out at night.
What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A Hallo-weiner.
Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin.
What is the first sign your house is haunted?
Your sheets are missing.
Why are spiders great baseball players?
They know how to catch flies.
What types of TVs are in haunted houses?
Wide scream TVs.
Knock, knock.
(Reply): Who’s there?
Howl.
(Reply): Howl who?
Howl you know who’s here if you don’t open the door.
When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
If you are a mouse.
Why did the werewolf go to the dressing room when he saw the full moon?
He needed to change.
2. Ghost jokes
Why didn’t the ghost cross the road?
It had no body to go with.
What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
“Do you believe in people?”
Who is the spookiest author?
A ghostwriter.
Why are ghosts bad liars?
Because you can see right through them.
What do ghosts eat for dessert?
I scream.
When does a ghost eat breakfast?
In the moaning.
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
He is mist.
Why was the ghost such a messy eater?
Because he was always goblin’.
Why does the ghost always buy books?
Because he goes through them very quickly.
What do you call a ghost’s true love?
His ghoul-friend.
How do ghosts wash their hair?
With sham-boo.
What room does a ghost not need?
A living room.
More funny ghost jokes
What do ghosts turn on in summer?
The scare-conditioner.
What kinds of pants do ghosts wear?
Boo-jeans.
What is a ghost’s favorite meal?
Spook-ghetti.
What did the cheerleader say to the ghost?
Show your spirit.
Why did the police officer arrest the ghost?
Because he didn’t have a haunting license.
Why do ghosts pick their noses?
To get the boo-gers.
Where do ghosts mail letters?
The ghost office.
What position does a ghost play in hockey?
Ghoulie.
Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Dayscare centers.
3. Vampire jokes – Halloween jokes for kids
How can you tell a vampire has a cold?
She starts coffin.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
What’s a vampires favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
Why did the vampire read the newspaper?
Because it had great circulation.
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
What type of dog does Dracula have?
A bloodhound.
Why can’t Dracula play baseball?
He lost his bat.
How do vampires start letters?
“Tomb it may concern…”
Where do vampires keep their money?
A blood bank.
What do you give a vampire when he’s sick?
Coffin-drops.
Why don’t vampires have more friends?
Because they are a pain in the neck.
What song do vampires dislike?
You Are My Sunshine.
4. Skeleton jokes
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the street?
He didn’t have any guts.
Why does a skeleton not like recess?
Because it has no-body to play with.
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
Because it had to go to the Body Shop.
Why are skeletons afraid of dogs?
Because dogs love bones.
What do you call a skeleton who lays around all day?
Lazy bones.
Why don’t skeletons like parties?
They have no-body to dance with.
What does a skeleton say before eating?
Bone appetit!
What instrument does a skeleton play?
The trombone.
Why didn’t the skeleton go to school?
His heart wasn’t in it.
Why didn’t the baby skeleton cross the road?
Because his mummy was not there.
When do skeletons laugh?
When something tickles their funny bones.
How do you open the door to a haunted house?
With a skeleton key.
Who was the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.
5. Witch jokes – Halloween jokes for kids
Why are the witches good at editing?
They know how to run spell check.
What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A sand-witch.
What do witches ask for at a hotel?
Broom service.
Knock, knock.
(Reply): Who’s there?
Witch.
(Reply): Witch who?
Witch one of you is giving me all your candy?
What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school?
Spelling.
What does a witch use to do her hair?
Scare-spray.
What do you call two witches living together?
Broommates.
Knock, Knock.
(Reply): Who’s there?
Witch!
(Reply): Witch who?
Witch one of you will give me Halloween candy?
What sound do witches make when they eat cereal?
Snap, Cackle and Pop.
Halloween fun tip:
Include a Halloween joke when you pack your child’s lunch during the month of October.
6. Monster jokes
What is Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
Which monster loves to dance?
The boogieman.
What do demons eat for breakfast?
Deviled eggs.
What monster plays tricks on Halloween?
Prank-enstein.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
What did Frankenstein say when he woke up from a nap?
I’ve just had a shocking dream.
7. Mummy jokes – Halloween jokes for kids
What’s a mummy’s favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
What kind of underwear do mummies wear?
Fruit of the Tomb.
What do moms dress up as on Halloween?
Mummies.
Why are mummies good employees?
They get wrapped up in their work.
What do you call a mummy eating in bed?
A crummy mummy.
8. Zombie jokes
Why didn’t the zombie cross the road?
He didn’t have the guts.
What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
You hope it’s Halloween!
What does it take to become a zombie?
Deadication.
Why did the zombie skip school?
He felt rotten.
9. Trick or treat jokes – Halloween jokes for kids
What do birds say on Halloween?
Trick or tweet!
What did the little boy say when she had to choose between a tricycle and candy?
Trike or Treat.
Use this funny saying when you go trick or treating:
“Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat!”
We hope you enjoyed these funny Halloween jokes for kids! Here are more funny kid jokes for a good laugh:
By Greg Johnson | Published 4/26/2022
