Funny Puns For Kids
Nothing generates a laugh and a smile like these funny puns for kids. After all, who doesn’t love a good play on words?
Here you can read some of the funniest, wittiest, most pun-derful jokes ever. They’re written especially for kids. And the puns are guaranteed to have the whole family rolling on the floor laughing.
Top 10 best puns for kids
Kids can learn about humor and how to make friends laugh with puns, a type of joke that plays on words and word meanings.
Here are ten of our favorite funny jokes that include puns. (Try not to laugh out loud!)
1.) What do call a nondescript potato?
A common-tater.
2.) A book just fell on my head.
I only have myshelf to blame.
3.) What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind?
A maybe.
4.) Who invented King Arthur’s round table?
Sir Cumference.
5.) What did the cupcake say to the frosting?
I’d be muffin without you!
6.) What does algae do when it’s in trouble?
Sea-kelp.
7.) Did you hear about the guy who tried to grab fog?
He mist.
8.) I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.
Then it dawned on me.
9.) I’m great friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don’t know Y.
10.) Somebody stole all my lamps.
I couldn’t be more de-lighted.
Silly puns
1.) What kind of award did the dentist receive?
A little plaque.
2.) Why did the can crusher quit he job?
He was soda pressed.
3.) What do you call a knight who hates fighting?
Sir Render.
4.) What do you call the place where all authors live?
The writer’s block.
5.) Would February March?
No, but April May.
6.) My friend drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how his Mercedes bends.
7.) I have a friend whose bakery burned down last night.
Now his business is toast.
8.) Why does Alice keep asking so many questions?
Because Alice is in Wonderland.
9.) What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you.
10.) What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
R2 detour.
11.) I’m an archaeologist.
My career is in ruins.
12.) What are the favorite tunes of the planets?
Nep-tunes.
13.) When does an astronaut eat?
At launch time.
14.) Why don’t trees take the bus?
They can never decide on a root.
15.) What should a lawyer always wear to a court?
A good lawsuit.
16.) Did you hear the joke about the little mountain?
It’s hill-arious.
Corny puns for kids
1.) Long fairy tales tend to dragon.
2.) What washes up on tiny oceans?
Microwaves.
3.) Which superhero is best at baseball?
Batman, of course.
4.) What did the finger say to the thumb?
I’m in glove with you.
5.) Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.
6.) What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we’ll just have to make dew.
7.) What do you call an army of babies?
Infantry.
8.) How is the forest?
It’s unbe-leaf-able.
9.) What do kids play when they can’t play with a phone?
Bored games.
10.) What do you call a five sitting on clouds?
A high-five.
11.) Why was the broom late for work?
It over-swept.
12.) I heard a funny joke about a boomerang earlier.
I’m sure it’ll come back to me eventually.
13.) What has wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
14.) How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
You rocket.
15.) What is the favorite genre of a car?
Auto-biography.
16.) Name the most musical bone.
Trombone.
17.) How should you greet the person who invented zero?
Thanks for nothing.
Funny puns
1.) Can February March?
No, but April May.
2.) If you see an Apple Store get robbed, does that make you an iWitness?
3.) Why was the broom late for school?
It overswept.
4.) How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
5.) How does a scientist freshen their breath?
With experi-mints.
6.) Why did the old man fall into the well?
Because he didn’t see that well.
7.) What does a tree wear before going to the swimming pool?
Swimming trunks.
8.) Don’t interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle.
Chances are, you’ll hear some crosswords.
9.) What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear.
10.) What did the sketchbook say to the novel?
I’m drawing a blank.
11.) Why did the God of Thunder need to stretch his muscles so much when he was a kid?
He was a little Thor.
12.) Why do pirates make such good singers?
Because they hit the high C’s.
13.) What did the right eye say to the left eye?
There is something between us, and it smells.
14.) Why do we say “break a leg” to actors?
Because every play needs a cast.
15.) What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A tuba toothpaste.
16.) Why are the elevator jokes so good?
Because they work on so many levels.
17.) What did the limestone say to the geologist?
Don’t take me for granite.
18.) I wish I could be a doctor, but I don’t have the patients.
My leaf blower doesn’t work. It sucks.
Birthday puns for kids
1.) How do you organize a party on the moon?
You planet.
2.) How should you wish a tree on its birthday?
Sappy birthday!
3.) What does a snowman like on its birthday cake?
The ice-ing.
4.) Why did the girl get a pair of bunny ears as a gift?
So she could have a hoppy birthday.
5.) Why do our families never forget our birthdays?
Because age is just a relative thing.
6.) What do clams do on their birthdays?
They shell-a-brate.
7.) What is served at birthday parties in heaven?
Angel food cake.
8.) What kind of music scares birthday balloons?
Pop music.
9.) Why did the teddy bear not eat the birthday cake?
Because it was already stuffed.
10.) What did the elk say to his friend on his birthday?
So I herd it’s your birthday.
11.) Which birthday party game do rabbits like most?
Musical hares.
12.) What do you say to a female sheep on her birthday?
Happy birthday to ewe!
13.) How do pickles celebrate birthdays?
They relish the moment.
14.) How should you wish your goldfish on its birthday?
Wishing you a fin-tastic day!
15.) Why do the birthday candles never exercise?
Because they burn out quickly.
Animal puns
1.) Why are oysters greedy?
Because they’re shellfish.
2.) That dolphin is so rude, but it doesn’t do it on porpoise.
3.) Who is the most famous fish spy?
James Pond.
4.) Why did the spider turn on the computer?
To check his web site.
5.) How do you fit more pigs on your farm?
Build a sty-scraper.
6.) What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
7.) Why did the lion spit out the clown?
Because he tasted funny.
8.) What did the buffalo say to his kid when he dropped him off for school?
Bison.
9.) Why did the daddy rabbit go to the barber?
He had a lot of little hares.
10.) What event do spiders love to attend?
Webbings.
11.) Where does a mouse park its boat?
At the hickory dickory dock.
12.) What did the fisherman say to the magician?
Pick a cod, any cod.
13.) Where do rats go when they have a cavity?
The rodentist.
14.) Need an ark to save two of every animal?
I Noah guy.
15.) What is a thief alligator called?
A crook-o-dile.
16.) What does a skunk judge say?
Odor in the court!
17.) Where does a sheep go on a vacation?
Baaaahamas.
Bear puns
18.) Where do polar bears keep their money?
A snow bank.
19.) What is a toothless bear called?
A gummy bear.
20.) Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll.
More funny animal puns for kids.
Bird puns
21.) What do you call a duck that loves to make jokes?
A wise-quacker.
22.) Which day is the most fearful day for a chicken?
Fry-day.
23.) What do you call an owl magician?
Hoodini.
24.) Which animal needs a wig?
The bald eagle.
25.) Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a bagel.
26.) What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
27.) Why do ducks have tail feathers?
To cover their buttquacks.
28.) Why do owls never exchange birthday gifts?
Because they never give a hoot.
29.) Why do hummingbirds hum all the time?
Because they forgot the words.
30.) What is the kind of math that owls love the most?
Owlgebra.
Cat puns for kids
31.) What kind of cats love bowling?
Alley cats.
32.) What’s a cat’s favorite type of Mexican food?
Purritos.
33.) What is a well-read cat’s favorite book?
Of Mice and Men.
34.) How did the black cats end their fight?
They hissed and made up.
35.) Why did they quit giving tests at the zoo?
Because it was full of cheetahs.
36.) What do you get when you cross a lemon and a cat?
A sour puss.
37.) What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?
It’s roar birthday.
38.) What kind of lion doesn’t roar?
A dandelion.
39.) Where do you get the birthday present for a cat?
From a cat-alogue.
40.) Why are leopards bad at playing hide and seek?
Because they always get spotted.
41.) What does a cat eat on its birthday?
Mice-cream.
Cow puns
42.) Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
43.) What do you call a cow with two legs?
Eileen.
44.) What did the mama cow say to the calf?
It’s pasture bedtime.
45.) Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
46.) Where do cows go for entertainment?
To the moo-vies.
47.) What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bull-dozer.
48.) What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?
An udder failure.
49.) How does a cow do math?
With a cow-culator.
50.) Why don’t cows wear sandals?
Because they lactose.
More cross the road jokes for kids.
Dinosaur puns for kids
51.) Where do T-rexes shop?
At dino stores.
52.) What do you call a dinosaur with good vocabulary?
A thesaurus.
53.) What do you call a dinosaur with careless driving?
T-wrecks.
54.) What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore.
55.) What did the dinosaurs use for their bathroom decoration?
Reptiles.
Dog puns
56.) What do dogs do when they need a break while watching a movie?
They put it on paws.
57.) How do you know a dog is calling you?
Check the collar ID.
58.) How does a dog take a break in the middle of a movie?
By pressing paws.
59.) Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
Because it was a chili dog.
60.) What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?
That hit the spot.
61.) What should you do if a dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of its mouth.
62.) What does a dog say after sitting on sandpaper?
It’s ruff.
Frog puns
63.) What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.
64.) What did the frog order for lunch?
A burger and a diet croak.
65.) What kind of footwear do frogs prefer?
Open-toed.
Horse puns
66.) What would you call a horse that lives near you?
A neigh-bor.
67.) Why do horses have a great physique?
Because they take a stable diet.
Monkey puns for kids
68.) What do monkey cooks wear when they are working in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
69.) What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
Prime-mates.
70.) Why do monkeys love bananas?
I guess they just find them appealing.
71.) What do you call an easily scared monkey?
A chimp-pansy.
Snake puns
72.) What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie?
A pie-thon.
73.) What do you call a snake wearing a hard hat?
A boa constructor.
Food puns for kids
1.) I knew a guy who collected candy canes.
They were all in mint condition.
2.) I wrote a song about a tortilla.
Actually, it’s more of a wrap.
3.) When should a cookie go to the doctor?
When it feels crummy.
4.) Why do the French like snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
5.) Have you seen the movie about the hot dog?
It’s an Oscar Weiner.
6.) What was the reporter doing at the ice cream shop?
Getting the scoop.
7.) Why does the yogurt love to go to the museum?
Because the it is cultured.
8.) What does a piece of bread say to the other?
You are my butter half.
9.) How does a pizza introduce itself?
Slice to meet you.
10.) Which candy is always late?
Choco-late.
11.) Coffee has a rough time in our household.
It gets mugged every single morning.
12.) What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.
13.) Why can’t eggs tell jokes?
Because they will crack each other up.
More great food puns for kids.
Fruit jokes
14.) If your guy can’t appreciate fruit jokes,
you need to let that mango.
15.) Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
16.) What would you do if a lemon gets sick?
Give it a lemon aid.
17.) What’s purple and 5000 miles long?
The Grape Wall of China.
18.) What did the banana go to the emergency room?
It wasn’t peeling well.
Vegetable jokes
19.) How do you fix a broken tomato?
By using tomato paste.
20.) What did the little corn say to the mama corn?
Where is pop corn?
21.) How does a cucumber become a pickle?
It goes through a jarring experience.
22.) Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a corn field?
There are too many ears.
23.) Why did the tomatoes blush?
They saw the salad dressing.
24.) How much did the pirate pay for corn at the farmer’s market?
A buccaneer.
School puns for kids
1.) What was the one thing the cross-eyed teacher couldn’t control?
His pupils.
2.) Geology rocks, but geography is where it’s at!
3.) There was a kidnapping at school yesterday.
Don’t worry though, he woke up.
4.) What does one library book say to the other?
Can I take you out?
5.) Why was the encyclopedia removed from the library?
Because it was unable to control its volume.
6.) I thought about trying to make a pencil with erasers at both ends.
Then I realized there’d be no point.
7.) What is an Easter play called?
Eggs-tra curricular activity.
8.) Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
9.) Why do readers have no extra time?
They are booked.
10.) Why did the boy not use the computer?
He feared it would byte him.
11.) Why did the clock get shushed in the library?
It was tocking too loud.
12.) What happens when you read a book about mazes?
You get lost in it.
13.) Which building has the most number of stories?
The library.
14.) Why was the student studying on the terrace?
To have a higher education.
15.) Why are the accountants not allowed to enter the library?
Because they are book-keepers.
16.) You really shouldn’t be intimidated by advanced math.
It’s easy as pi.
17.) What’s a writing utensil’s favorite state?
Pencil-vania.
Halloween puns
1.) Why are the witches good at editing?
They know how to run spell check.
2.) What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
3.) Who is the spookiest author?
A ghostwriter.
4.) How can you tell a vampire has a cold?
She starts coffin.
5.) Why does a skeleton not like recess?
Because it has no-body to play with.
6.) What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frost bite.
7.) Why does the ghost always buy books?
Because he goes through them very quickly.
We hope you had a good laugh over these funny puns for kids. Be sure to check out more kid-oriented humor below.
By Greg Johnson | Published 2/24/2022
