Toasts for Drinking, Best, Funny

These toasts for drinking will surely bring a smile to everyone’s face who hears them. You’ll find the right toast for any occasion, including old Irish toasts and famous quotes to use as toasts.

Just click on the menu below to jump to a section or scroll through the entire list to find your favorite toast!

Drinking Toasts photo

Top 10 best drinking toasts

1.) May we live to learn well
And learn to live well.

2.) May you be in heaven a half an hour
Before the devil knows you’re dead.

3.) Drink to life and the passing show
And the eyes of the prettiest girl you know.

4.) Who loves not women, wine, and song,
Will be a fool his whole life long.

5.) Here’s a turkey when you are hungry,
Champagne when you are dry,
A pretty girl when you need her,
And heaven when you die.

6.) Here’s to the nights we’ll never remember
With the friends we’ll never forget.

Devil toast image

7.) Here’s to the glass we love so to sip,
It dries many a pensive tear;
’Tis not so sweet as a woman’s lip
But a damned sight more sincere.

8.) May the winds of fortune sail you,
May you sail a gentle sea,
May it always be the other guy who says,
“This drink’s on me.”

9.) There are many good reasons for drinking,
One has just entered my head —
If a man doesn’t drink when he’s living,
How the hell can he drink when he’s dead?

10.) Here’s to those who wish us well,
All the rest can go to hell.

Funny toasts for drinking

11.) He who goes to bed and goes to bed mellow,
Lives as he ought to,
And dies an honest fellow.

12.) Here’s to a long life and a merry one,
A quick death and a happy one,
A good girl and a pretty one,
A cold bottle and another one.

13.) The first draught a man drinks is for thirst,
The second for nourishment,
The third for pleasure
and the fourth for madness.

14.) Better to be a well-known drunkard than an anonymous alcoholic.

15.) Drink today and drown all sorrow;
You shall perhaps not do it tomorrow;
Best while you have it, use your breath;
There is no drinking after death.

16.) Let us drink to bread, for without bread, there would be no toast.

Drunkard toast image

Hilarious toasts and cheers

17.) Here’s to whiskey,
So amber, pure, and clear…
It’s not so sweet as women’s lips
But a damn sight more sincere.

18.) Here’s to alcohol,
Which often makes one see double
And feel single.

19.) Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.

20.) May you die in bed at 95 years,
Shot by a jealous wife.

21.) Here’s to steak when you’re hungry,
Whiskey when you’re dry,
All the girls you ever want,
And heaven when you die.

22.) Drink to fair woman, who, I think,
Is most entitled to it;
For if anything drives men to drink,
She certainly can do it.

Check out more Funny Toasts.

Drinking toasts for friends

23.) Here’s to friends and family who know us well, but love us just the same.

24.) May we never go to hell but always be on our way.

25.) Here’s to it, and from it, and to it again, and if you don’t do it when you get to it, you may never get to it to do it again!

26.) Here’s to the floor, who will hold you when no one else will.
May we get what we want, but never what we deserve.

27.) I would rather be with the people in this room than with the finest people I know.

28.) I used to know a clever toast.
But now I cannot think it.
So fill your glass to anything.
And damn your souls, I’ll drink it.

College drinking toasts

29.) May the wind at your back always be your own.

30.) Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life.
So let’s get wasted all of the time, and have the time of our life.

31.) Here’s to your liver!
May it live as long as you last.

32.) Here’s to staying positive and testing negative.

33.) Here’s to cheating, stealing, and drinking.
May you cheat death, steal hearts, and always drink with me.

34.) If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and drink myself up. But the ocean’s not beer and I’m not a duck, so let’s drink these pints and get messed up.

Positive toast image

35.) May the bloom of the face
Never extend to the nose.

36.) Here’s to stealing, cheating and lying:
May you steal someone’s heart, cheat death, and lie with your love.

37.) Pain makes you stronger.
Tears make you braver.
Heartbreak makes you wiser.
And vodka makes you not remember any of that crap.

38.) Here’s to the girls who do
And here’s to the girls who don’t
And here’s to the girls who say they never will,
But when the time comes, won’t.
But here’s to the girls most of all,
Who say they never will:
“I can’t, I won’t, I shan’t, I don’t!
… but just for you, I will.”

39.) Over the teeth, over the gums,
Look out stomach here it comes!

40.) To hell: May the stay there be as fun as the way there.

41.) To every lovable girl in the land,
I offer this little libation.
For if ever they all left the country at once,
We’d be left in a state of stag-nation.

42.) Here’s to doing and drinking,
Not sitting and thinking.

Classy toasts

43.) Here’s to Dame Fortune;
May she smile upon you.
May you never meet her daughter, Miss Fortune.

44.) May we be who our dogs think we are.

45.) The past is history, the future is a mystery, but today is a gift, because it’s the present.

46.) To high winds and mermaids!

47.) God in goodness sent us grapes to cheer both great and small. Little fools drink too much, and great fools not at all!

48.) You’re a gentleman and a scholar and a good judge of bad liquor.

Irish drinking toasts

49.) May the face of every good news
And the back of every bad news
Be towards us.

50.) Always remember to forget
The things that made you sad.
But never forget to remember
The things that made you glad.

51.) May the roof above us never fall in,
And may we friends gathered below
Never fall out.

52.) May you be in heaven a half an hour
Before the devil knows you’re dead.

Irish drinking toast image

53.) May the lilt of Irish laughter
lighten every load.
May the mist of Irish magic
shorten every road.
And may all your friends remember
all the favors you are owed.

54.) May your home always be too small to hold all your friends.

55.) May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.

Famous Irish toasts

56.) When the liquor is inside,
The pain goes elsewhere.

57.) Remembering good St. Patrick, who by strategy and stealth, drove all the snakes from Ireland. Here’s a toasting to your health. But not too many toastings, lest you lose yourself, and then forget about good Patrick, and see all those snakes again.

58.) Here’s to the land of the shamrock so green,
And here’s to each lad and his darlin’ colleen,
Here’s to the ones we love dearest and most.
May God bless old Ireland, that’s this Irishman’s toast.

59.) When we drink, we get drunk.
And when we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we are asleep, we commit no sin.
So… let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!

60.) May the luck of the Irish
Lead to happiest heights
And the highway you travel
Be lined with green lights.
Wherever you go and whatever you do,
May the luck of the Irish be there with you.

61.) May misfortune follow you the rest of your life,
And never catch up.

Jealous wife toast image

Famous drinking toasts, quotes

62.) Let’s have a toast. To the incompetence of our enemies.
Holly Black

63.) Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.
Frank Sinatra

64.) Drink today, and drown all sorrow; You shall perhaps not do it tomorrow; Best, while you have it, use your breath; There is no drinking after death.
Ben Jonson

65.) Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die.
Kurt Vonnegut

66.) May you live all the days of your life.
Jonathan Swift

67.) Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
Ogden Nash

68.) Let us toast to animal pleasures, to escapism, to rain on the roof and instant coffee, to unemployment insurance and library cards, to absinthe and good-hearted landlords, to music and warm bodies and contraceptives… and to the “good life”, whatever it is and wherever it happens to be.
Hunter S. Thompson

69.) Here’s to our wives and girlfriends…may they never meet!
Groucho Marx

70.) Here’s to the big bull in the wood.
He does the cows and heifers good.
If it weren’t for his long, long rod,
Then what would we do for beef, by God?
Mark Twain

More drinking quotes

71.) My New Year’s Eve Toast: to all the devils, lusts, passions, greeds, envies, loves, hates, strange desires, enemies ghostly and real, the army of memories, with which I do battle — may they never give me peace.
Patricia Highsmith

72.) Work like you don’t need the money. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Dance like nobody’s watching.
Satchel Paige

73.) Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.
Tom Waits

74.) Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemingway

75.) I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.
Miguel de Cervantes

76.) Let us have wine and women, mirth and laughter,
Sermons and soda water the day after.
Lord Byron

77.) It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason
W. C. Fields

78.) Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.
Mark Twain

79.) To absent friends, lost loves, old gods, and the season of mists; and may each and every one of us always give the devil his due.
Neil Gaiman


You’re on the funny Toasts for Drinking page. Looking for more great toasts? Be sure to check out these other popular toasts lists:

Best Man Toasts

Bridesmaid Toasts

Popular Toasts for Every Occasion