Martini Quotes, Captions, FAQs

Among the most famous martini quotes is the saying by H.L. Mencken, “The martini is the only American invention as perfect as the sonnet.”

So we were wondering, what other sayings pay tribute to this most perfect of American cocktails? Let’s take a look at some of the best and most famous martini quotes.

Famous martini quotes

Martinis are the only American invention as perfect as a sonnet.
H. L. Mencken

A martini. Shaken, not stirred.
Sean Connery, James Bond 007

I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.
Humphrey Bogart, his last words

A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.
Noel Coward

Bikinis, zucchinis, martinis.
No weenies.
Snoop Dogg

Bright was the light of my last martini on my moral horizon.
Norman Mailer

Why don’t you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?
Robert Benchley

martini quotes image

Best martini quotes

One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.
James Thurber

Let’s get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.
Mae West

When I have one martini, I feel bigger, wiser, taller—when I have a second, I feel superlative—when I have more, there’s no holding me.
William Faulkner

Funny martini quotes

He knows just how I like my martini—full of alcohol.
Homer Simpson

The three-martini lunch is the epitome of American efficiency. Where else can you get an earful, a bellyful and a snootful at the same time?
Gerald Ford

Happiness is… finding two olives in your martini when you’re hungry.
Johnny Carson

All my life I’ve been terrible at remembering people’s names. I once introduced a friend of mine as Martini. Her name was actually Olive.
Tallulah Bankhead

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Rodney Dangerfield

Happiness is a dry martini and a good woman… or a bad woman.
George Burns

If it wasn’t for the olives in his martinis he’d starve to death.
Milton Berle

They say that a martini is like a woman’s breast. One ain’t enough and three is too many.
Chris Gayle

More humorous sayings

Have you seen the bologna that has the olives in it? Who’s that for? ‘I like my bologna like a martini. With an olive.’ ‘I’ll have the bologna sandwich—dirty.’
Jim Gaffigan

I bought a piano once because I had the dream of playing As Time Goes By as some girl’s leaning on it drinking a martini. Great image. But none of it worked out. I can’t even play Chopsticks. But I’ve got a nice piano at my house!
George Clooney

When a horse learns to buy martinis, I’ll learn to like horses.
Steve McQueen

I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
George Burns

I like to have a martini, two at the very most. After three I’m under the table. After four, I’m under my host.
Dorothy Parker

A man must defend his home, his wife, his children, and his martini.
Jackie Gleason

Johnny Carson martini quote

Witty martini quotes

You can no more keep a martini in the refrigerator than you can keep a kiss there.
Bernard DeVoto

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Winston Churchill

Zen martini: A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin, either.
P.J. O’Rourke

I should like to elbow aside the established pieties and raise my martini glass in salute to the mortal arts of pleasure.
Bob Shacochis

Sinatra: Let me fix you a martini that’s pure magic.
Martin: It may not make life’s problems disappear, but it’ll certainly reduce their size.
Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin

If Plato is a fine red wine, then Aristotle is a dry martini.
Eric Stoltz

He was white and shaken, like a dry martini.
P. G. Wodehouse

A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily.
Daniel Seligman

Martini lover quotes

There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth—I think that perhaps it’s the gin.
Ogden Nash

I am prepared to believe that a dry martini slightly impairs the palate, but think what it does for the soul.
Alec Waugh

This is an excellent martini—sort of tastes like it isn’t there at all, just a cold cloud.
Herman Wouk

A well-made Martini or Gibson, correctly chilled and nicely served, has been more often my true friend than any two-legged creature.
M. F. K. Fisher

I have either a cucumber martini, gin martini, or a vodka martini. That’s it. Simple.
Robert De Niro

I’m not talking a cup of cheap gin splashed over an ice cube. I’m talking satin, fire and ice; Fred Astaire in a glass; surgical cleanliness, insight… comfort; redemption and absolution. I’m talking MARTINI.

In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing?
George Burns

Bernard De Voto quote

Martini quotes about culture and sophistication

The martini is the supreme American gift to world culture.
Bernard De Voto

I had never tasted anything so cool and clean. They made me feel civilized.
Ernest Hemingway

I don’t get cast as the guy who steps off a yacht in a white linen suit with a martini.
Martin Freeman

I want to be a superhero. Maybe I’ll be a bartending superhero who shakes martinis to save the world.
Shanola Hampton

Now all the criminals in their suits and ties are free to drink martinis and watch the sunrise.
Bob Dylan

You’ll enjoy these margarita quotes and captions.

Martini quotes from movies and TV

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.
Humphrey Bogart, Casablanca

Hello, gorgeous. In a wildly optimistic gesture, I ordered you a Dirty Martini.
Dirty Martini? Dirty bastard.
Sex and the City

I’d like a dry martini, Mr. Quoc. A very dry martini. A very dry, arid, barren, desiccated, veritable dustbowl of a martini. I want a martini that could be declared a disaster area. Mix me just such a martini.
Hawkeye Pierce, M*A*S*H

Martini captions for Instagram

Add these captions to your best martini photos when you post to Instagram and any other social media site:

  • Work sucks. I need a martini.
  • You had me at martini.
  • Sip happens.
  • Quarantini: Like a regular martini, but you drink it at home, alone, in your PJs.
  • Girls just wanna have cocktails.
  • I have mixed drinks about feelings.
  • When life gives you lemons, make lemon drop martinis!
  • I like it dirty.
  • It’s beginning to look a lot like cocktails.
  • Life is grand with a martini in hand.
  • No working during drinking hours.
  • A martini. Shaken, not stirred.
  • Long live happy hour!
  • Strong women need strong drinks.
  • Save water. Drink a martini.
  • You look like I need a drink.
  • Happy hour o’clock.
  • I prefer my espresso in a martini.
  • Sip sip hooray.

Check out these fun drinking toasts.

VIDEO: The most popular beverages in the world


Let’s learn more about the martini by taking a look at some frequently asked questions.

Origin: What is the martini named for?

While it’s not clear exactly where the name martini comes from, some speculate it may have started with the Martini brand of vermouth.

Other legends tell of the cocktail being named for the town of Martinez, California as early as the 1860s.

Ingredients: What is a martini made of?

A martini is a cocktail traditionally made with gin and vermouth, then garnished with either a lemon twist or an olive.

What are the types of martinis?

  • Dry martini – Made with little or no vermouth.
  • Dirty martini – Olive brine or juice is added to the cocktail along with an olive.
  • Wet martini – More vermouth is added to the martini.
  • Perfect martini – Equal amounts of sweet and dry vermouth are used to make the cocktail.

What does James Bond drink?

Fans of James Bond movies over the years recognize the martini as the preferred drink of agent 007. He orders his “shaken, not stirred.”

The cocktail has a reputation for high-class sophistication, thanks in part to the British spy thrillers.

What is the James Bond “Vesper” martini recipe?

In the 2006 movie Casino Royale, Bond orders a Vesper martini. Ian Fleming’s 1953 book of the same name describes the recipe as “Three measures of Gordon’s; one of vodka; half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it over ice, and add a thin slice of lemon peel.”

The drink is named for the double agent and Bond love interest, Vesper Lynd (portrayed by Eva Green). “Because once you have tasted it, you won’t drink anything else,” Bond coyly adds.

Why does James Bond order his martini “shaken, not stirred”?

Bond’s signature catchphrase “shaken, not stirred” refers to a martini that defies the conventional method of making the cocktail.

When a martini is shaken the alcohol is evenly distributed, resulting in a more thorough mixing of alcohol and ice. Not only is the drink colder, but it does not pack as much punch with every subsequent sip like a stirred version.

It’s possible that in this way Bond keeps a sharp mental edge and keen awareness of any trouble lurking about.

Thanks for reading about martini quotes, captions, and FAQs. You might also enjoy these drinking lists:

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