Turtle Jokes For Kids

Turtles are slow, but they’re also pretty funny. And you’ll find there’s nothing funnier than these turtle jokes for kids!

We’ve got jokes about turtles of all shapes and sizes, from sea turtles to tortoises to box turtles. So gather your kids around and get ready to laugh your shells off! These turtle jokes are sure to bring a smile to everyone’s face.


    Funny turtle jokes for kids

    1.) What kind of photos does a turtle love to take?

    2.) What did the snail say as it rode on the turtle’s back?

    3.) What does a turtle need to ride a bike?
    A shell-met.

    4.) What do you call a turtle who loves photography?
    A snapping turtle.

    5.) Why do turtles never forget?
    Because they have turtle recall.

    6.) What do turtles use to communicate?
    A shell-phone.

    7.) What do you call a lesson on turtles?
    A turtorial.

    8.) Why did the turtle cross the road?
    To get to the shell station.

    turtle jokes for kids

    Clean turtle jokes for kids

    9.) What do turtles do on their birthday?
    They have a shell-ebration.

    10.) What kind of turtles are the easiest to find?
    “See” turtles.

    11.) Where do turtles keep their money?
    In the riverbank.

    12.) What do turtles use for money?
    Sand dollars.

    13.) What did the turtle say when the frog jumped out from behind a bush?
    Oh, you sturtled me!

    14.) What did the cow say to the turtle?
    Get a mooove on.

    15.) How do you make a turtle laugh?
    Tickle its underbelly, of course!

    16.) What kind of jokes do turtles tell?
    Shell-larious ones.

    Silly turtle jokes for kids

    17.) What’s a turtle’s favorite game?

    18.) What did turtle say to the taco?
    My shell or yours?

    19.) Why is turtle wax so expensive?
    Because they only have little ears.

    20.) What’s a turtles favorite sandwich?
    Seanut butter and jelly-fish.

    21.) Why do turtles live in shells?
    Because they can’t afford a house in the city.

    22.) What do you call a turtle chef?
    A slow cooker.

    23.) How did the musician turtle get off his back?
    He rocked and he rolled.

    24.) Why don’t turtles eat at McDonald’s?
    They don’t eat fast food.

    Corny turtle jokes for kids

    25.) What do you call a famous turtle?
    A shell-ebrity.

    26.) What do turtles do best?
    Slow dance.

    27.) What did the taco say to the sea turtle?
    I like your shell.

    28.) Why did the turtle go to AT&T?
    Because he couldn’t Sprint.

    29.) What is a turtle’s favorite kind of sweater?
    A turtle neck.

    30.) Why did the turtle sleep all day?
    It was noc-turtle.

    31.) What can you find in the pond behind the artist’s house?
    Painted turtles.

    32.) What happens when your kids want to buy a tortoise?
    You shell out a lot of money.

    33.) Why couldn’t the famous Ninja Turtle cross the road?
    Because he didn’t have enough turtle power.

    Turtle puns

    34.) Where does a turtle go when it’s raining?
    A shell-ter.

    35.) Which extinct turtle was discovered in the La Brea Pit?
    The tar-tle.

    36.) What do you call a flying turtle?
    A shell-icopter.

    37.) What do you call a truck-load of tortoises crashing into a train-load of terrapins?
    A turtle disaster.

    38.) What do turtles do on their birthday?
    They shell-ebrate.

    funny turtle jokes

    Turtle riddles

    39.) What do you get if you cross a turtle and a llama?
    A turtle neck sweater.

    40.) What do you get if you cross a turtle and a porcupine?
    A slowpoke.

    41.) What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
    A slow-pork.

    42.) What do you get when you cross a turtle with an igloo?
    A tort-ice.

    43.) What do you get when you cross a turtle with a giraffe?
    A turtle-neck.

    44.) What do you get when you cross a flamingo with a terrapin?
    A bird-le.

    45.) What do you get if you cross a tortoise, a giraffe, and a kangaroo?
    A turtleneck jumper.

    46.) What’s the name for a turtle with 6 feet?
    A 6 foot turtle.

    Turtle knock knock jokes

    47.) Knock, knock – Who’s there?
    Boo – Boo Who?
    Don’t cry! We have the best turtle jokes.

    48.) Knock, knock – Who’s there?
    Eddie – Eddie who?
    Eddie body home in that turtle shell?

    49.) Knock, knock – Who’s there?
    Canoe – Canoe who?
    Canoe spell turtle?

    50.) Knock, knock – Who’s there?
    You – You who?
    You see a turtle go by?

    51.) Knock, knock – Who’s there?
    Candice – Candice who?
    Candice turtle walk any faster?

    Thanks for reading this selection of funny turtle jokes for kids. Here are more great jokes for children of all ages:

    Penguin Jokes for Kids

    Bee Jokes for Kids

    Owl Jokes for Kids

    By Greg Johnson | Published 7/5/2023