Teacher Jokes For Kids
Looking to put a smile on students’ faces? Try these teacher jokes for kids. They are clean and funny to kids of all ages, from kindergarten to elementary students to teens.
1. Best teacher jokes for kids
Kids love jokes because they like to laugh. And jokes can be a great way to focus students’ attention and encourage learning. Here are some funny jokes just for kids.
Why did the geometry teacher miss class?
Because he sprained his angle.
Who is the most famous phys-ed teacher?
What’s an English teacher’s favorite cereal?
What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
Pick them up and roll them back.
What’s the name of the teacher who is always late?
Why was the geometry book so adorable?
Because it had acute angles.
Funny teacher jokes
Why did closing her eyes remind the teacher of her classroom?
Because there were no pupils to see.
Why did the teacher write on the window?
Because she wanted the lesson to be very clear.
Which grade school teachers have the greenest thumbs?
The kinderGARDEN teachers.
Why was the geometry class always tired?
Because they were all out of shape.
Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed?
Because she couldn’t control her pupils.
Why did the teacher put the chalk in front of a TV?
She didn’t like the chalk bored.
What do you get if you cross a teacher with a vampire?
A blood test.
What kind of lunches do geometry teachers enjoy?
What’s the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
Jokes about teachers
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because his class was so bright.
Why did the teacher only allow measuring tape in the classroom?
She wanted to be the only ruler.
Why did the teacher bring slippers to school?
For when she’s in the teacher’s lounge.
What happened when the teacher tied all the kid’s shoelaces together?
They had a big class trip.
2. Corny teacher jokes for kids
What’s the difference between a teacher and a steam train?
The first says “Spit out that bubble gum” and the second says “chew chew.”
Teacher: I hope I didn’t see you looking at John’s exam?
Student: I hope you didn’t either.
Teacher: What is the shortest month?
Student: May, it only has three letters.
What are ten things teachers can always count on?
What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?
Today my teacher yelled at me for something I didn’t do.
What was that?
Why did the new boy steal a chair from the classroom?
Because the teacher told him to take a seat.
What’s the best place to grow flowers in school?
What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A school bus full of elephants.
What does a book do when it gets cold?
It puts on a jacket.
Why did the pony get detention?
Because he was horsing around.
Where do surfers go to school?
Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).
Why do magicians do so well in school?
They’re good at trick questions.
What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
Why did the kid run to school?
Because he was chased by the spelling bee.
What did the bully have for lunch?
He had a knuckle sandwich.
Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.
What’s a librarian’s favorite type of bait when fishing?
What’s purple and 5000 miles long?
The grape wall of China.
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
Toga-ether we can rule the world.
What did the teacher say about the pizza student?
There’s mushroom for improvement.
My favorite teacher at school was Mrs. Turtle
Strange name but she TORTOISE well.
Why did the egg get thrown out of class?
Because he kept telling yolks.
3. Jokes teachers can tell students
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems.
Why did the teacher turn the lights on?
Because her class was so dim.
Who is a teacher’s best friend at school?
Why don’t they let giraffes teach elementary school?
They can only teach in High School.
Why did the teacher give the student a wet report card?
Because his grades were below C level.
Why did the boy eat his homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
Why did the dog do so well in school?
Because he was the teacher’s pet.
Teacher: What is the most common phrase used in school?
Student: I don’t know.
Teacher: I see you missed the first day of school.
Student: Yes, but I didn’t miss it much.
School jokes for class
Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus 4?
Class: “At once.”
What did the ghost teacher say to the class?
Look at the board and I will go through it again.
Teacher: If I had 6 oranges in one hand and 7 apples in the other, what would I have?
Student: Big hands.
Why did the teacher jump into the pool?
He wanted to test the water.
Teacher: Would you please pay a little attention?
Student: I’m paying as little attention as I can.
Why are teachers like bank robbers?
They both want everybody to raise their hands.
Teacher: We will only have a half-day of school this morning…
Teacher: Then we will have the other half this afternoon.
Teacher: Didn’t I tell you to stand at the end of the line?
Student: I tried but there was someone already there.
On the first day of school, what did the teacher say her three favorite words were?
June, July & August.
Why are teachers so rude during summer vacation?
Because they have no class.
What is a math teacher’s favorite sum?
4. Teacher jokes for kids by subject
What city cheats at exams?
What is the smartest state?
Alabama, it has four A’s and one B.
Where do pencils come from?
What did Delaware?
Her New Jersey.
What rock group has four men that don’t sing?
What has 5 eyes and is lying on the water?
The Mississippi River.
What is the capital of Alaska?
Come on, Juneau this one.
What is the capital of Washington?
What is the fastest country in the world?
What stays in the corner, but travels around the world?
Where do the pianists go for vacation?
What are the Great Plains?
The 747, Concorde, and F-16.
Teacher: Where is the English Channel?
Student: I don’t know, my TV doesn’t pick it up.
English and grammar jokes
How do you comfort a grammar teacher?
Say… “They’re, there, their.”
Teacher: Give a a sentence beginning with “I”.
Student: I is….
Teacher: Stop there, you need to begin with “I am”.
Student: Okay…I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
Why is an English teacher like a judge?
They both hand out long sentences.
Teacher: What are two pronouns?
Student: Who? Me?
Teacher: What did you do at the weekend?
Student: I did some cooking.
Teacher: Lovely, what did you bake?
Student: Synonym rolls just like grammar used to make.
What’s the longest word in the dictionary?
Smiles. Because there’s a mile between the first letter and the last.
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom.
What kind of lighting did Noah use for the ark?
What is snake’s favorite subject?
Why is England the wettest country?
Because the queen has reigned there for years.
Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
Because there were so many knights.
What is the fruitiest subject at school?
History, because it’s full of dates.
What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?
I don’t know, I wasn’t invited.
Why aren’t you doing well in history?
Because the teacher keeps on asking about things that happened before I was born.
How did the Vikings send secret messages?
By norse code.
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
What did Mason say to Dixon?
We’ve got to draw the line here.
Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons?
Because they didn’t want to wait 40 years for a train.
Who built the ark?
I have Noah idea.
What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?
The same middle name.
Why didn’t the two 4s want any dinner?
Because they already 8.
Why did the math teacher hand out eye glasses during class?
To help students with di-vision.
Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?
Student: You told me not to use tables.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th.
Which U.S. state has the most algebra teachers?
Who made King Arthur’s round table?
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a Jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
What is a butterfly’s favorite subject at school?
Where do math teachers go on New Year’s Eve?
What did zero say to the number eight?
What do you get when you cross a math teacher with a tree?
What is the most popular dessert for teachers in Georgia?
What do you get when you cross a math teacher with a clock?
What happened to the maths teacher’s garden?
The plants all grew square roots.
Why was music class so hard?
Too many notes.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
To reach the high notes.
Why is a music teacher great at baseball?
Because he has a perfect pitch.
Why was the music teacher sad?
He had lots of trebles.
How did the music teacher get locked out of her classroom?
Her keys were on the piano.
What do you do when your science jokes don’t get a laugh?
Keep trying until you get a reaction.
How do scientists freshen their breath?
How do we know that Saturn was married more than once?
Because she has a lot of rings.
How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because the chicken wasn’t invented yet.
How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
5. How to use teacher jokes for kids
Teachers will find these jokes perfect for sharing a joke of the day with students. And don’t forget to add some fun and laughter on the following holidays and special events:
- April Fools Day
- Valentines Day
Thanks for reading these funny teacher jokes for kids. Here are more jokes kids will love: