Doctor Jokes For Kids
Is your little one feeling a bit nervous about their next checkup? These funny doctor jokes for kids are sure to put them at ease!
We all know doctor visits can be scary for kids. But fear not! We offer the perfect antidote – a heaping helping of hilarious doctor jokes. They’re clean and safe for all ages.
The prescription is laughter, so get ready to tickle your child’s funny bone and turn those doctor jitters into giggles!
Why doctor jokes are great for kids
Make your child’s next visit to the doctor less traumatic with a little humor.
By turning doctors and hospitals into subjects of silly puns and wordplay, kids can be distracted from their fears and approach the experience with greater ease.
Plus, laughter itself has health benefits! Sharing jokes with your child about doctors can not only reduce their stress but also create a fun bonding experience.
Best doctor jokes for kids
1. What does a sick lemon need?
Lemon aid.
2. What’s the best time to go to the dentist?
Two thirty.
3. Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side?
He’s all right now.
4. Who is the coolest doctor in the hospital?
The hip consultant.
5. How did the doctor cure the invisible man?
He took him to the ICU.
6. How does a frog feel when she has a broken leg?
Unhoppy.
7. Why didn’t the girl tell the doctor that she ate some glue?
Her lips were sealed.
8. Why is a doctor always calm?
They have a lot of patients.
Silly doctor jokes
1. Why did the clown go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling a little funny.
2. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
He was feeling really crumby.
3. Why did the pillow go to the doctor?
He was feeling all stuffed up.
4. What did the balloon say to the doctor?
I feel light-headed.
5. What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?
Get dressed up, the doctor is taking us out.
6. Doctor, I’m hearing a ringing sound.
Then answer the phone!
7. Why did the grasshopper go to the doctor?
He kept feeling jumpy.
8. Did you hear the one about the germ?
Never mind, I don’t want to spread it around.
Doctor, doctor jokes
1. Doctor, Doctor, I swallowed a bone!
Are you choking?
No, I really did.
2. Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards!
I’ll deal with you later.
3. Doctor, Doctor, will this ointment clear up my spots?
I never make rash promises.
4. Doctor, Doctor, everyone thinks I’m a liar.
I can’t believe that!
5. Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a vampire.
Necks, please!
6. Doctor, Doctor, I’ve swallowed my pocket money!
Take this and we’ll see if there’s any change in the morning.
7. Doctor, Doctor, I’ve broken my arm in two places.
Don’t go to either again.
8. Doctor, Doctor, I’ve got broccoli growing in my ear.
It looks like you’re not eating properly.
9. Doctor, Doctor, help – I think I’m getting shorter!
Please hang on and be a little patient.
10. Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pony.
Don’t worry, you’re just a little hoarse.
11. Doctor, Doctor, I feel like I’m turning into a sheep.
Oh no, that’s baaaaaaaad.
Doctor puns
1. Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well.
2. Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?
He had low elf esteem.
3. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?
He had a pail face.
4. Why did the calendar have to visit the doctor?
It had a terrible year-ache.
5. Why did Dracula go to the doctor?
He couldn’t stop coffin.
6. What do you give a sick pig?
Oink-ment.
7. What do you give a sick bird?
Tweet-ment.
8. What do you call a diseased criminal?
A leper-con.
9. Where do sick boats go to get healthy?
To the dock.
Corny doctor jokes
1. Why did the house go to the doctor?
Because it had a window pane.
2. Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
3. Why did the witch go to the doctor?
She had a dizzy spell.
4. Why did the robot go to the doctor?
She had a virus.
5. Why should you always be quiet when opening the medicine cabinet?
So you don’t wake the sleeping pills.
6. Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
7. Where do ghosts go when they’re sick?
To the witch doctor.
8. Does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
Only if you aim it well enough!
9. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
Time to get your booster shot.
Patient / Doctor jokes for kids
1. Patient: Doctor, I’ve swallowed a spoon.
Doctor: Sit down and don’t stir.
2. Patient: Doctor, sometimes I feel like I’m invisible.
Doctor: Who said that?
3. Patient: I think I’m a pair of curtains.
Doctor: Pull yourself together.
4. Patient: I feel like a pack of cards.
Doctor: I’ll deal with you later.
5. Patient: I think I’m a needle.
Doctor: Yes, I can see your point.
6. Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.
Doctor: Next time, take off the candles.
7. Patient: I think I’m losing my memory.
Doctor: When did it start?
Patient: When did what start?
8. Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses.
Waiter: You certainly do. This is a restaurant.
9. Patient: Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow.
Doctor: How do you feel?
Patient: A little down in the mouth.
10. Patient: Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?
Doctor: Use a pencil until I come to see him.
Dentist jokes
1. What does a dentist call his X-rays?
Tooth-pics.
2. What did the judge say to the dentist?
Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?
3. What’s white, furry, and shaped like a tooth?
A molar bear.
4. Why did the king go to the dentist?
To get his teeth crowned.
You’ll enjoy these funny braces jokes for kids.
One liners
1. I told the doctor I didn’t want brain surgery.
But he changed my mind.
2. My dermatologist was fired today.
I’m told he made too many rash decisions.
Doctor riddles
1. What does a doctor give an elephant who’s going to be sick?
Plenty of room.
2. What’s the best place to hide from a doctor?
The apple orchard.
3. Why did the mattress go to the doctor?
It had spring fever.
4. What did the doctor give the sick snake?
Asp-irin.
5. Why did the bee go to the doctor?
Because she had hives.
6. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
It had a knot in its stomach.
Doctor knock knock joke
1. Knock, knock – Who’s there?
Colin – Colin who?
Colin, the doctor, I feel sick!
There you have it, some of the funniest doctor jokes for kids. You can check out more kids’ jokes here:
Published 5/31/24
