Best Toddler Jokes
There’s nothing like the sound of your kid laughing. It’s sure to make any parent smile — even when they’re tired, grumpy, or stressed out. So how about some toddler jokes to help keep those laughs coming?
This collection of jokes is sure to give you and your little one plenty of reasons to giggle together. Whether you’re hanging out at home or going on an adventure together, these jokes are the perfect way for you to connect with your child and build those important parent-child relationships.
Best toddler jokes
1.) Why can’t Elsa have a balloon?
Because she will let it go.
2.) How do you make an octopus laugh?
With ten-tickles.
3.) Who is Peppa Pig’s favorite painter?
Pig-casso.
4.) What do you call a huge pile of cats?
A meow-ntain.
5.) Why did an old man fall into a well?
Because he couldn’t see that well!
6.) What’s the strongest type of sea creature?
Mussels.
7.) Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7, 8, 9.
8.) Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
9.) What do you call a seagull who lives at a bay and not at the sea?
A bay-gull.
Good toddler jokes
10.) What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells.
11.) Where do vampires keep their money?
The blood bank.
12.) Where do fish keep their money?
On a river bank.
13.) Where do polar bears store their money?
In a snowbank.
14.) What kind of key opens a banana?
A mon-key.
15.) Why can’t a leopard hide?
Because he’s always spotted.
16.) What’s a kitty cat’s favorite color?
Purrr-ple.
17.) What did the older flower say to the baby flower?
“Hey, bud!”
18.) What do you call a train that sneezes?
Achoo-choo train.
19.) Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?
Because her students were so bright.
Short jokes
20.) What kind of shoes do robbers wear?
Sneakers.
21.) What fish only swims at night?
Starfish.
22.) What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?
Spell-ing.
23.) How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut.
24.) What’s a cow’s favorite place?
A moo-seum.
25.) What do frogs order at fast-food restaurants?
French flies.
26.) What animal is always at a baseball game?
The bat.
27.) What kind of room doesn’t have doors?
A mushroom.
28.) Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because they have smelly feet.
Clean jokes for young children
29.) What do you do when a dinosaur sneezes?
Get out of the way.
30.) What is the Easter bunny’s favorite type of music?
Hip-hop.
31.) Why did the bicycle have trouble standing up?
It was two-tired.
32.) What is brown, hairy, and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on vacation.
33.) What candy do bumblebees love the most?
Bumble gum.
34.) What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunder-wear.
35.) Where do sheep go to get their haircut?
The baa-baa shop.
36.) Why couldn’t the pony sing “Happy Birthday?”
Because she was just a little hoarse.
37.) Where do pencils come from?
Pencil-vania.
38.) What did the little corn say to the mama corn?
“Where is pop corn?”
Funny toddler jokes
39.) What do you call an old snowman?
A puddle.
40.) What is brown and sticky?
A stick.
41.) How do piglets greet their grandparents?
With hogs and kisses.
42.) How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it.
43.) What do you call a fairy that doesn’t like to take a bath?
Stinkerbell.
44.) What did the buffalo say when his little boy left for school?
Bison.
45.) What does a triceratops sit on?
Its tricera-bottom!
46.) What did the tree say to the wind?
“Leaf me alone!”
47.) What’s the most expensive fish called?
A goldfish.
48.) What kind of dog does a magician have?
A Labracadabrador.
49.) What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple.
Silly jokes
50.) What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree.
51.) Which vegetable do sailors hate the most?
Leeks.
52.) What is a frog’s favorite drink?
Croak-a-cola.
53.) Why did the teacher throw a stick of butter out the window?
She wanted to show her students how to make a butter fly.
54.) Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
55.) What instrument does a skeleton play?
A trom-bone.
56.) What did the duck say after she bought chapstick?
Put it on my bill.
57.) What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you.
58.) How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words.
59.) Why is Superman’s outfit always so tight on him?
It’s a size S.
60.) How does the sea say hello?
It waves.
Toddler jokes about animals
61.) What do you call an alligator in a crime scene dressed in a vest?
An investi-gator!
62.) What do you call a donkey with three legs?
A wonk-ey.
63.) What do you call a fish without an eye (I)?
A fsh.
64.) Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
65.) What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
Dino-SNORE!
66.) What did one firefly say to the other?
“You glow, girl!”
67.) Which dinosaur had to wear glasses?
Tyrannosaurus specs.
68.) What do you say to a cow who’s in your way?
MOOOO-ve!
69.) What does the cow do for fun?
Watch moo-vies.
70.) Why do so many fish live in saltwater?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze.
71.) What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.
72.) Where do elephants pack their clothes?
In their trunks.
73.) Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
More funny animal jokes for kids.
Food jokes for toddlers
74.) Why won’t peanut butter tell you a secret?
He’s afraid you’ll spread it.
75.) Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?
Dill with it.
76.) What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
77.) What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
78.) What do you call a cow’s favorite dance move?
A milkshake.
79.) What’s the difference between zebras and bananas?
Bananas are yellow.
80.) What cheese is only mine?
Nacho cheese.
81.) Where do you learn to make ice cream?
Sundae school.
82.) What did the banana say to the dog?
Nothing. Bananas can’t talk.
83.) What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blue-berry.
More funny food jokes for kids.
Puns for toddlers
84.) What kind of keys are sweet?
Coo-keys.
85.) How do you throw a party in space?
You have to planet.
86.) How did the pirate get his boat so cheaply?
He bought it on sail.
87.) What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip.
88.) What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?
A fire-quacker!
89.) Why is the clock banned from the library?
Because it tocks too much!
90.) What do ghosts wear on their feet?
Boo-ts.
91.) Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well.
More great food puns for kids.
Knock knock jokes for the little kiddos
92.) Knock knock. – Who’s there?
Lettuce. – Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it’s freezing out here!
93.) Knock, knock. – Who’s there?
Theodore. – Theodore who?
Theodore wasn’t opened so I knocked!
94.) Knock, knock. – Who’s there?
Cows go. – Cows go who?
No silly, cows go moo!
95.) Knock, knock. – Who’s there?
Justin. – Justin who?
Justin time for breakfast!
96.) Knock, knock. – Who’s there?
Tank. – Tank who?
You’re welcome!
97.) Knock, knock. – Who’s there?
Ice cream. – Ice cream who?
ICE CREAM SO YOU CAN HEAR ME!
98.) Knock knock. – Who’s there?
Interrupting cow. – Interrupting co—
MOO!
99.) Knock, knock. – Who’s there?
Spell. – Spell who?
Okay, W-H-O!
100.) Knock knock. – Who’s there?
Annie. – Annie who?
Annie one going to open the door?
101.) Knock knock. – Who’s there?
Beets. – Beets who?
Beets me!
102.) Knock knock. – Who’s there?
Boo. – Boo who?
Oh no, don’t cry!
If you and your child enjoyed reading these toddler jokes, you’ll also get a kick out of these kids jokes:
Funny Tongue Twisters For Kids
By Greg Johnson | Published 12/8/2022
