Silly Jokes For Kids
These silly jokes for kids are ranked best by our kid panel.
We began by testing hundreds of jokes and letting the children tell us which are the funniest. Only the best silly kid jokes made the cut.
Our requirements were that the jokes be easy to remember, kid-friendly, and (most importantly) tickle kids’ funny bones.
Here are the jokes the kids liked best.
Top 10 best silly jokes for kids
1.) What do you call a hen who counts her eggs?
A mathamachicken.
2.) What do you call two octopuses that look exactly the same?
I-tenticle.
3.) Why can’t your nose be twelve inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
4.) Want to hear an icebreaker?
Fat penguin.
5.) What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?
Swimming trunks.
6.) Why are frogs so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them.
7.) What are the strongest days of the week?
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weak days.
8.) Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up?
Because it was two tired.
9.) Did you hear about the cat that swallowed a ball of wool?
She had mittens.
10.) What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt!
1. Silly animal jokes for kids
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs.
Where does a sheep go to get a haircut?
The baa-baa shop.
What is more impressive than a talking parrot?
A spelling bee.
What do you call a cow on a trampoline?
A milk shake.
What’s a penguin’s favorite relative?
Aunt Arctica.
Why flamingos stand on one leg?
Because they would fall if they lifted both legs.
What do you call a horse that lives next door?
A neigh-bor.
What do bumblebees chew?
Bumble gum.
Why does a crab never share?
Because he’s shellfish.
More funny animal humor
If a seagull flies over the sea, what flies over a bay?
A bagel.
What part of the fish weighs the most?
The scales.
Where do bees go to the bathroom?
The BP station.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What did the monkey say to the banana?
You have got a-peel.
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
Ouch!
What would a bear say if he got confused?
I barely understand.
Dinosaur jokes
Why did the dinosaur refuse to use a deodorant?
Because it did not want to go ex-stink.
What dinosaur has the best vocabulary?
The thesaurus.
2. Silly pirate jokes arrrrr the best
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter in the alphabet?
You’d think it was R, but it’s the C they love.
What’s a pirate’s favorite subject in school?
Arrrrrrrrrrt.
What did the pirate say when his peg leg was outside the bed covers?
Shiver me timbers!
Why can’t pirates learn the alphabet?
Because they keep getting lost at C.
Why did the pirate take a 2-week long vacation?
He needed a little arr and arr.
How much did the pirate pay for his earrings?
A buck-an-ear.
What did the pirate say a year after he turned 79?
Aye Matey! (I’m eighty!)
Check out more funny pirate jokes for kids.
3. Corny jokes for big laughs
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
Who helps out when you have a cold?
’Tis you.
Why was the broom late?
It overswept.
What is a tornado’s favorite game?
Twister.
Why did the picture go to jail?
It was framed.
What is brown and sticky?
A stick.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A waist of time.
What did one wall say to the other wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner.
What do you call a flower that roars?
A dande-lion.
What is a cheerleader’s favorite cereal?
Cheerios.
Where do pencils go on vacation?
Pencil-vania.
Even more corny jokes for kids.
4. Silly school jokes for kids (impress your friends!)
What do you call a story about a broken pencil?
Pointless.
What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?
A bookworm.
Have you ever tried to eat a clock?
Its very time-consuming.
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A tuba toothpaste.
What did the paper say to the pencil?
Write on!
What kind of music do planets listen to?
Nep-tunes.
Where do you learn to make ice cream?
Sundae school.
Who’s the king of the pencil case?
The ruler.
You know what the loudest pet you can get is?
A trumpet.
Science chuckles
Why can’t you trust atoms?
They make up everything.
What do you do if you see a spaceman?
Park your car, man.
Math humor
Do you know what’s odd?
Every other number.
If I had six bananas in one hand and four bananas in the other hand, what would I have?
Really big hands.
What’s bigger when it’s upside down?
The number 6.
What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?
Pi.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
More hilarious school jokes for kids.
5. Kids love cheesy jokes
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells.
What did the drummer call his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two!
Why is it so windy inside an arena?
All those fans.
Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?
They both got 6 months.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case they got a hole in one.
Why wouldn’t the girl buy anything with velcro?
It’s a total rip-off.
How did the basketball get wet?
The players dribbled all over it.
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He couldn’t see himself doing it.
What did the nose say to the finger?
Stop picking on me!
How do you learn to be a trash collector?
Just pick it up as you go along.
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
Why did the girl not trust the stairs?
They’re always up to something.
You’ll find more cheesy humor here.
6. Silly food jokes for kids (lunchtime fun!)
What does a nut say when it sneezes?
Cashew!
Why did the two fours skip lunch?
They already eight.
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was a ‘head’ and the tomato was trying to ‘ketchup’.
Why did the girl throw a stick of butter out the window?
To see the butter-fly.
Why is it a bad idea to tell a burrito a secret?
They might spill the beans.
How did the french fry propose to the hamburger?
He gave her an onion ring.
Why did the pie go to the dentist?
It needed a filling.
Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I’m not going to spread it.
Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
What kind of tea you drink with the Queen?
Royal tea.
Here are more great food jokes for kids.
7. Funny puns for funny kids
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
How do you cut the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
What do you call two guys hanging on a window?
Kurt and Rod.
What do you call a small mother?
A minimum.
How do you get in touch with a crab?
You call him on his shell phone.
When is it time to go to the dentist?
Tooth hurty (2:30).
What do you call a man who can’t stand?
Neil.
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar.
What did the mom cow say to the baby cow?
It’s pasture bedtime.
What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
R2 detour.
What do you call a guy lying on your doorstep?
Matt.
A big list of funny puns for kids.
8. Funny riddles (to make you think!)
What is blue, but not heavy?
Light blue.
What stays in the corner and travels all around the world?
A postage stamp.
What starts with ’T’, ends with ’T’ and has ’T’ in it?
A teapot.
What kind of water can’t freeze?
Hot water.
What season is it when you’re on a trampoline?
Spring time.
What are ten things you can always count on?
Your fingers.
Name a ball that does not bounce?
A snowball.
Why can’t a T-Rex clap its hands?
Because they are extinct.
What do you call a bear with no ears?
“B”.
What gets wetter the more it dries?
A towel.
How do you make a lemon drop?
Just let it fall.
Who earns a living driving their customers away?
Taxi drivers.
How do you turn light chocolate into dark chocolate?
By turning the lights off.
9. Silly Halloween jokes for kids
What do skeletons say before eating?
Bone appetite.
Why are ghosts bad liars?
Because you can see right through them.
What monster plays tricks on Halloween?
Prank-enstein.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing can get under their skin.
What do you call two witches living together?
Broommates.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
He didn’t have the guts.
What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?
Spelling.
Why is a ghost such a messy eater?
Because he is always a goblin.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
Check out more Halloween humor.
10. Silly Christmas jokes
What do you call Santa when he stops moving?
Santa Pause.
What do gingerbread men use when they break a leg?
Candy canes.
What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
Snow.
Why did Santa go to music school?
To improve his wrapping skills.
What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar?
He got 12 months.
What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
What is every parent’s favorite Christmas carol?
Silent Night.
What wears a red suit and says “Oh, oh, oh”?
Santa walking backwards.
A big list of Christmas jokes for kids.
We hope you enjoyed this list of the best silly jokes for kids. Be sure to check out the “4 Kids” section of ListCaboodle (in the menu above) for all kinds of fun and learning for kids!
By Greg Johnson | Published 7/12/2022
